This is all I need to feel alive

Gaelen, 17, female,nerdfighter and an assortment of other labels

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Smutty McSmutSmut

ALRIGHT so this is going to be split up by type, alright? TYPES I GOT FOR YOU:

  • Handjobs 
  • frottage
  • blow jobs
  • PHONE SEX
  • actual!sex
  • and the last section will be 
  • IT’S GOT ERRYTHANG
  • oh and the randoms

LET’S DO THIS

Hand Jobs: 

Frottage:

  • The Mirror’s Distortion Kurt has body image issues and Blaine’s reaction to this is showering with him.
  • _______________________1/22
  • Leggings Blaine just has a REALLY nice ass

Blow Jobs:

PHONE SEX: 

Actual!sex also now contains any kind of penetrative sex because I CAN:

  • All I See Is You by skintightsocks BOTTOM!BLAINE GUH ADORABLE SCRUFFY BLAINE AND ADORABLE FIRST TIME. 
  • Fit Right Into Me by skintightsocks BOTTOM!KURT, barebacking and snarky Kurt. As always.
  • Never Close Enough top!Blaine by skintightsocks INFAMOUS WEREWOLF FIC AND FUCKING HOT. JUST. YES. 
  • Gentlemen Don’t  BOTTOM!Blaine looooooool desperate blaine
  • Playing Doctor  bottom!top!Kurt like you know what I mean (HE RODE BLAINE ALRIGHT.) Also, an appearance by Finn. Yeah, I know.
  • Never Have I Ever MONSTERCOCK!BLAINE it was too funny to not include oh my god oh and WALLSEXXXX
  • Closeted WALLSEX AGAIN WITH SOME GUESTS yeah this is funny as hell
  • Rah Rah Rah!  future Klaine, top!Blaine, they find Kurt’s old Cheerios uniform and we all know how Kurt looks in that uniform
  • Napoleon Complex  hella dom!blaine, i actually don’t enjoy this that much…
  • Calender boy  HNNG HNNG HNNG HNNNNNNG have i mentioned HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG
  • Doorknob Hat  Finn, just. Stop.
  • Top!Kurt WITH THE GOOD OL’ FAM YA KNOW http://glee-kink-meme.livejournal.com/1680.html?thread=8257424
  • Want My Body  Bottom!Blaine 
  • Pavarotti  LOOOOOOOOOOL PAVAROTTI YOU SNEAKY BITCH
  • Anniversary Ride  TAKE THAT RIDE PART LITERALLY
  • _____________________________ 5/6/11 
  • Drunk  I mean if you can’t guess from the title. Drunk!top!kurt
  • _____________________________ 5/7/11
  • Shhh  angry sexxxxxxxxx
  • ____________________5/8/11
  • Putting Him In His Place  HNNG ANGRY SEX TOP!KURT sdlkfhsdfksdfklh everything I love
  • _______________________________5/27
  • Somewhere Only We Know  top!kurt. adorable and whatnot 
  • Likes Blaine  not my favorite. But eh it’s really short.
  • Separate Parts (Handerson Fourgy Warning)  HOLY SWEET HELL. 
  • _________________________6/23
  • T-minus 38 minutes  HOLY SWEET HELL ROUGH, DESPERATE, NEED YOU NOW, GOING AWAY WALL SEX. 
  • _____________________6/29
  • Come Undone  actually this is just fingering but I don’t have a section for that SOOOOO this is where I’m putting it. also this is hot.
  • No More Parkour  IT’S SO CUTE ASDLFHASD
  • _______7/20
  • Eyes Adored You  SO MUCH FLUFF I WANT TO CRY
  • _________7/27
  • Willing to Take The Risk  OH MY GOD TOP!KURT WALL SEX TEACHER!BLAINE I ALMOST DIED READING THIS I WANT TO MARRY THIS FIC AND LOVE IT DOWN AND ALL THE FUCK AROUND GOOD GOD IN HEAVEN so yes I enjoyed this
  • _____7/28
  • Teach Me a Lesson so let’s go over what this is. Techer!Kurt, badboy!blaine, desk sex. This is Gaelen’s ghost. She died reading this fic. 
  • Who Taught You To Use Your Hands more teacher!klaine, more desk sex, more dead gaelen.
  • The One Who Knows Your Name sister fic to the above fic. hnng. dead gaelen.
  • ___________________________________9/3/11
  • Blaine’s Birthday, 2015 b-b-b-b-birthday sex~
  • 100% Cotton Iron-On Reverse because Kurt was damn fine in that Born This Way outfit. 
  • Sunday Morning this doesn’t have sex in it but i’m too lazy to like go elsewhere but yeah nomnomnomnom hickeys and marking
  • Truth or Dare sex brought to you by Cosmo magazine. TELL YOUR FRIENDS!
  • Some Like It Hot   as the author states Pure, unapologetic, dirty, kinky, porn. Enjoy.”
  • Layers A WONDERFUL FIC ABOUT TRIDENT LAYERS! badboy!blaine so sue me it was funny okay
  • While You Were Away reunion sex will never not be hot thanks 
  • When a Heart Breaks *three parts. All the parts are on the first post. Angsty mcangst angst lots of tears lots of sex lots of angsty sex 
  • _______________________________10/16
  • At the Tips of Your Fingers  Kurt surprises Blaine by wanting to get fingered WHEEE
  • Truth or Dare Cosmo sex things finally actually lead to sex. I know, it’s hard to comprehend. 
  • Soap Suds Blaine is a football player and is exhausted during the game. So obviously Kurt should fuck him in the shower
  • Under Oath AU AGAIN JESUS H HIATUS BROKE ME laws force that all gay teens get into a civil union with each other. Law makes them have gender roles. And force them to consummate which is…sketch. Okay overall: first time, adorably sweet. THERE’S A HAPPY ENDING OKAY.
  • Straight Laced Blaine is a business mogul guy and needs a new secretary since Santana goes on maternity leave, and gets Kurt Hummel who is a bitch. YAY FOR DESK SEX!
  • Winning Kurt wins and oh is it glorious
  • Seconds desperate sex desperate sex desperate sex desperate I MISS YOU sex THAT IS ALL YOU NEED
  • Nineteen Minutes 19 MINUTES TO HAVE SEX READY SET GO
  • Not Long Until the Cameras Start Turning Blaine makes a video and takes some pictures for Kurt. Sees them a year later. And then sex.
  • Appropriate Use of the Scaffolding KURT EXUDING MASCULINITY ON BLAINE. OH YES.
  • Who’s The Lady Now? AGAIN KURT EXUDING HIS MASCULINITY ON BLAINE OH GOD IS IT GOOD.
  • _____merry christmas, y’all
  • Office Hours la la la college professor blaine~
  • ____________________1/22
  • The Boy Is Mine dommy!kurt and sub!blaine hmmm possessive!kurt
  • It’s a Conversation I Just Can’t Have Tonight Kurt and Blaine had plans to go to OSU together but then Blaine mentions he wants to go to U Mich in the middle of sex and Kurt takes out a bit of frustration on him. But then it gets gooey and Kurt and Blaine talk and FLUFFY
  • Fingertips Ghosting if you guessed that this fic was about fingering then YOU WIN!
  • Always Here In the Silence nerd!blaine and badass!kurt slfdhasdl
  • One Million Invisible Lines First Kurt lets guys hit on him because Blaine gets jealous and gets all grabby then Blaine gets sad and they talk and LE SEX
  • Kurt/Blaine — sweaty sex gkm fill where Blaine gets super freaking sweaty while he rides Kurt. 
  • Waiting Forever KURT PULLS THE NAKED MAN
  • One First, Two Firsts First time, again
  • This is a Thing Barebacking and well coming on boyfriends.
  • In Which Kurt Hummel Has Had Enough and the sequel In Which Kurt Hummel Thanks Sebastian  Kurt finally decks Sebastian and then fucks Blaine in a closet. RIGHT
  • Solve for X like all AUs in one fic
  • Yes/Yes mindless porn
  • Kurt Symphony drunk sex, future fic
  • _________________________2/1
  • What Goes Unsaid dom!Kurt and sub!blaine experimentation with adorable fluff at the end but holy fucking shit FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS, KIDS.
  • A Little of What You Love MORE SEAT BUCKLING
  • The More Your Have switching switching switching switching switching SWITCHING also barebacking but SWITCHING. 
  • Kindling badboy!blaine AU featuring some possessive!blaine and lacking condoms  

IT’S GOT ERRYTHANG: 

The Randoms (mainly some angst or adorable fluff)